I must admit I never knew you in person but I don't know what overcame me that day. That day in the lecture hall. I couldn't believe that it had to be you. It was not a possibility. The fleeting exchanged smiles in secondary school and in jc was always filled with sunshine, bubbliness and lovely smiles. You were popular, capable and to me, you had everything going for you.

But something tugged really bad at my heart strings. Because I did have thoughts of ending it all too. Did you? Or was it an on the spur thought? Because if it was about school and work, I should have been gone too. And if it were about relationship matters, I would have been gone too.

And then I realised that I haven't been able to see outside of myself, being caught up with myself and only myself. I thought that I was the only victim against the school education and whatever that was here. But I guess I wasn't alone.

And I'm guilty for speculating about the reasons for your haste to leave us. I'm sorry.

I don't know how you managed to cast away the fear of pain or the pain of leaving behind your beloved friends and family, because those things always kept me tied down.

But I know that sometimes the grief, the hopelessness and the frustation makes you want to just fling it down and fly away from all that is here.

My only wish is that you are happier now, far away from whatever that has burdened your beautiful heart. That your angelic soul has been released from the grasp of this painful world.

But you've always be remembered as the friend that I never knew. And that you matter. I regret to say that it was only through your departure that many of us suddenly sat up and realise that we have been taking our friends, everyday things for granted.

I really hope you're happier now. We'll miss you dreadfully. Thanks for bringing so much joy, laughter and sunshine while you were here. You made a difference. I'm glad to have received your exuberance, bubbliness, even though you never knew me and I, never knew you.

Thank you so much.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own....
when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid...
afraid of what we don't know,
afraid of what others will think,
afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.
What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?
People live, but people die.
And I want to tell you that you are a friend.
If you died tomorrow (God Forbid), you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?
We might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next,
and don't want to talk at all the year after that.
So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and
you have made a difference in my life,
I look up to you,
respect you, and
truly cherish you.
Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them,
and tell new friends you never will.

Just an entry about an incident that touched me today.Think those boys that helped me today probably didn't think much about what they did but I was definitely impressed. Way impressed.

Well, nothing spectacular actually, just that a friend's beloved accessory rolled into a drain because I had carelessly dropped it onto the ground. And rolled the ring did, right into the depths of this dirty, dark and smelly drain. Those kind of drains with the metal grille on it. I thought that sealed the last day of my life on Earth. I hated that accessory. Well, not exactly actually. But boy did I feel guilty about letting it roll right through the grille. I thought it was impossible to retrieve it beacause other than being dark, smelly and disgusting, the drain was a pretty deep one and it was without rungs leading out of it.

Just when I thought my life was over, a fellow guy classmate immediately sprang into action. I don't mean like pretending to be gung ho or anything. Just plain helpfulness. And before I knew it, he was already removing the grilles of the drain. Immediately after he started, two others came forward to help as well. And one of them actually risked the possibilty of slipping and not to mention the possibilty of being trapped inside, to retrieve the ring. And he didn't even give much thought about stepping on the stale water trapped in the drain pipe. And before I knew it, all the boys who were playing basketball earlier on had trooped over to check out the commotion and they even lent their helping hands in getting the boy out and replacing the grilles.

I am super impressed and very grateful for such superb classmates. I don't know how you even put it in words. I don't even know what to say other than a really big thank you to you guys for your helpfulness, your selflessness, your...and then I suddenly realised that that were the precise qualities that boys have that are not so common in girls. Sure I do have fantastic girl friends, but these guys taught me a great lesson in life today.

In life, you've got to be sensitive like a girl yet on the other hand, be as big hearted as these boys were today.

Dear classmates, I salute you for your selflessness. These are the things that make my life in school so memorable and unforgettable. Thanks a lot for what you have done even though you have probably forgotten about it. But I haven't, because it really touched my heart.

Unlike what most people would do on their blogs, that is to complain about how much they have eaten in extra etc etc, I'm all for glorious food! Why starve yourself knowing that you want a bit of the cake? I don't understand why people always want to diet, going on fruits only, vegetables only diet. HUH? In fact, I know of more people who diet and grow even fatter after that. All because of the uncontrolled bingeing after the crash diet. Or maybe the self gratification after the ordeal of a supposedly successful crash diet.

I celebrate good food! Can't wait to go overseas to chomp on more glorious food! Places like Thailand, Hong Kong and Taiwan, food there is superb! Why force yourself to stay thin by going on a hunger strike when you can tuck in to all the good food? It's no wonder my classmate calls me the devil, the one armed with chocolates, candies to the brim.

I say eat what you please! But eat in moderation too. You don't have to gorge on oodles of noodles just because it's good. Fat can't be lost just by starving. It has to be lost through other more effective ways like sports and exercising.

But why the strong desire to stay slim so that one can fit into skin tight tops and ultra short mini skirts? Largely it comes from the overwhelming bombardment of the slimming advertisements on the television. With all the Vicki Zhaos, Christy Chungs, everyone now pictures the hourglass figure as the ideal. But some of us are just not blessed with such good genes. Like me.

There are some days that you wake up feeling fat and all bloated and some days where you suddenly look in the mirror and realise that the clothes you are wearing help enhance certain portions of your body that no longer need any more enhancements. Mind you, I'm talking about tummies and the butt. Not all of us want to be the next J Lo.

I admit, unabashedly that they are days I just wish to be able to squeeze into clothes that are 5 sizes smaller than what I'm currently wearing. There are some days where I wish I had the courage and the money to step into a slimming salon, or even to buy a bottle of firming lotion. Ít's all part of being human, girlish isn't it? I mean like even the men of today are getting concious of their physical appearances.

But I realise all that is just a form of hidden programming. To keep us occupied with the mundane so that nobody ever gives second thoughts to things that are more important. Unfortunately, like all, I'm also entrapped in this sticky web called the programming of the society. But I see the light in between the layers, sometimes. Do you?

The entire education system must have been overwhelmed by the news of the RJ student filming his teacher while she was berating a fellow classmate on his apparently lousy GP homework. Dare I say, dear friend I applaud your bravery in daring to videotape this entire event. But of course, the move to post it on the internet was questionable. I thought passing it to the principal would have suffice. But of course, we all know about shady dealings in the school administration.

Anyway, the words that the teacher used, I thought, was way overboard. Yes, I believe that teachers should have the authority to berate and scold a student for slipshod work, but the phrase like "sly, crafty, old rat", was uncalled for. And she even proceeded to tear up his homework. Apparently that student was supposed to be a PRC. Well, for all the comments made by GP teachers about helping such students, I think some of them don't exactly welcome these scholars in actual fact.

Besides, this teacher's character is also questionable. I recall in one incident where a guest speaker was invited to speak about globalisation, she literally bombarded the poor man with questions. Asking questions was one matter, but she did it in a manner that most of my classmates found offensive. And that guy was supposed to be a guest speaker! I know she's knowledgeable and all, but that is no grounds for you to use that knowledge to challenge him to an intellectual duel. Her attitude towards the speaker was downright rude. Even if she didn't agree with what the man had presented, there was no need to use that attitude in voicing your opinions.

I read one of the post at Yahoo and I quote from this man,

"I sincerely believe such teachers will make good GP teachers.

Seriously, when I was in SJI in the 1970s, our teachers then were in no way mean but they imparted the critical aspects of being a GP student and this teacher's mode of imparting the skills is OK.

If we do not have these teachers, our GP will suffer in the long run.

PLEASE RJC, dont fault the teacher, she is a good teacher.

By the way, I have no relation with this GP teacher neither am I or my children from RJC but I seriously think that she is a VERY GOOD TEACHER. "

I heard from a classmate who was in her class in the first 3 months that she seldom let the students air their opinions in class on topics. In fact, she did all the talking, expecting her students to take on her opinions. If she were to be a good GP teacher, there would undoubtedly be more open mindedness in areas regarding opinions, afterall, different people have different perspectives. A good teacher is one who, despite having differences in opinions, would still be able to accept students' view points. Moreover she's teaching a subject that does not have definite answers unlike in maths or science.

I don't think the boy was at fault for having videotaped the entire event. Why shift the blame to him? What happened to the boy who started it all with his lackadaisical attitude towards his work? The only fault with the boy who videotaped the entire sequence of events was that he didn't consult the principal fiirst. I don't think that teachers should use the excuse of stress to defend themselves. Don't abuse your authority just because you have control to the students' future via scholarship recommendations and marks. Don't shift the blame the poor boy who has merely produced evidence to show how tyrannical our education system and its educators can get. People get blinded by the reputation of schools by the rankings but fail to look at the people who make the school.

It wasn't a betrayal like the principal mentioned. The teacher didn't even treat her students with respect, why should she expect respect from them? And please don't use lame reasons to punish the student, like he broke the rule about using handphones in the classroom. That's too childish. And is counselling enough for the teacher involved?

And most ridiculous of all was the statement made by the Acting Manpower Minister and Minister of State for Education Ng Eng Hen. "Don't pass quick judgement on the RJC teacher," then why are you passing quick judgement on the student?

"I can remember instances where I as a doctor and a professional have behaved in a way that would have made people surprised. I have lost my temper with patients' relatives before as I am sure other doctors, teachers and other professionals - but of course no one captured it on film and it was not on the Net replayed over and over again for people to judge. I am sure if you caught me in less than better moments I could be portrayed as a monster," he said.

This doesn't give you the excuse to lose your tact and abuse your authority my dear man. If as you said, the teacher should be let off because she was probably not in a good state, then why can't the boy be let off as well? That is what you have implied right? That professionals also have days where it's hard to control their tempers and hence make errors, then what about students who are novices? So the student should be punished because he made one mistake, whereas for this teacher, who probably has torn up more scripts before technology caught up with her, is getting scot free because of the understandable stress teachers face?

The boy's merely a poor guy who had to be a scapegoat in the Singapore school system where supposedly more educated people abuse their authority through the lack of tact and EQ. And they blame students nowadays for having poor attitude and being too practical?